thefairymelusine: line drawing of a knight lying by a bank of flowers (Default)
posted by [personal profile] thefairymelusine at 06:51pm on 20/04/2009 under ,
How To Be Catlike in Your Everday Life.
An unpublished Wiki-How article.

1. Pick a step. Sit or preferably lie on this step. Actually sprawl across this step. Do not move if people wish to walk over the step, except to interfere with their progress more than you are already doing so.

2. Fall asleep on the step.

3. If it is in your interests to move from the step, do so casually. For example if the step is on the side of an erupting volcano, do not move for a very long time, and finally casually saunter between the jets of lava to safety.

4. Now you are off the step, jump at people’s knees. Unexpectedly.

5. There’s not much more to it than that.

Rejected points.

• die unexpectedly
• have no sense of ownership.
• work out precisely the wrong place for you to sit, and sit there (pretty much covered with the stair point)
• moult
• scratch at things.

(inspired by the title of a wiki how article, which apparently bears no resemblance to an actual cat. And by some cats I've known.)

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