thefairymelusine: line drawing of a knight lying by a bank of flowers (Default)
posted by [personal profile] thefairymelusine at 03:56am on 09/02/2010 under ,
Depression appears to be fading, which is good. I made it out of the house for several hours today, during which I got a septum piercing to commemorate Always So Free (I'm now doing one per production. There will be a picture when I have access to a camera I can connect to a computer) , drank chai and read about 200 pages of "Rampant" (a Young Adult novel about killer unicorns, and the virgin descendants of Alexander the Great who are supposed to hunt them down), bought orange hair dye and generally managed not to have panic attacks.

I made the mistake of not binding all last week, which left me feeling rubbish and made an already there depression worse, and having horrible thoughts about self harm and dressing as female to psychologically self harm (I have a nasty bit inside my head that thinks of all the ways I can hurt/upset myself really badly). This is evidence that I should probably mind myself better in post production weeks, which past productions have shown. But I'm binding again this week, and feeling much better (and the orange hair and piercings help)
thefairymelusine: line drawing of a knight lying by a bank of flowers (Default)
posted by [personal profile] thefairymelusine at 09:32pm on 04/10/2009 under , ,
After losing my job I had several very good days. A friend was staying, other friends were round or visiting, the people I love and care about were being amazing, either from a distance or in person. My nurse was good. And I did know the magnitude of it, but I was dealing.

I lost the job that was meant to be a new start. I "might have bitten off more than you can chew". They probably had every right to fire me, or it was understandable that they did. I probably can work again quite soon, but I will have had this. I think I do probably have to look into flexible work/work from home.

It is okay though. I have awesome friends, a Webster, and multi coloured hair.
thefairymelusine: line drawing of a knight lying by a bank of flowers (Default)
posted by [personal profile] thefairymelusine at 05:33pm on 25/05/2009 under , , , ,
Good things:
I cut my hair. I didn't do it myself, but went to an hairdresser, and I now have shorter hair, in a vaguely Enid from Ghost world bob but with a fringe. The fringe is currently blonde. Soon I will be paid and then it may be hairdye time. Or I may retrieve the hairdye from James and then it shall be blue and blue black. And then blue and some other colour. (I am thinking bright blue and bright pink, possibly with some blue black, and I may add purple if I have any left.)
I have a boyfriend with blue hair. This is exciting. (also, you know, he's pretty wonderful in respects other than hair.)
I wrote a poem and had the guts to read it out in front of people, and that was not the terrifying hell I was expecting.
The weekend was awesome. Poetry and drinking until the early morning is win.
Madmen is also awesome, and if anyone can make me a Madmen icon I would be pleased (preferably Betty.)

Things about which I am not sure:
you know how you miss when I was completely melting and regularly blogged about my constant changes in medication and the side effects. Another anti depressant has been added to my meds, citalopram, and there's a possibility of a mood stabiliser as well, once my mood is, well, stable. I'm having a slight meds freakout, which I'll write about later.  (The whole it seems to take a lot of stuff, including stuff other than meds, to make this go away and that scares me and sometimes I have depression freakouts along the lines of maybe I'm fine really and just need to pull myself togehter, but that is majorly stupid, because I am doing as much as I am able.)

Going to go and write Maelstrom characters now.
thefairymelusine: line drawing of a knight lying by a bank of flowers (Default)
posted by [personal profile] thefairymelusine at 07:15pm on 19/04/2008 under , ,
I got my official Birkbeck offer today. It made me happy. Am going to start on the reading list, possibly some of which in the original, soon. Once I find the reading list. Was hopelessly overprepared for the interview, but not so much that I convinced the interviewer I was a nutter who should not be allowed near a library. They let me in! (I still do not quite believe this). I know I have told almost all of you this already, but it is now official. The path of much doom does not lie before me. 

Anyone know how I could bleach my hair without it turning orange? It's dyed red at the moment, hence the risk of orange. 

Will post a more coherent update later.
Mood:: accomplished
thefairymelusine: line drawing of a knight lying by a bank of flowers (Default)
posted by [personal profile] thefairymelusine at 05:27pm on 20/05/2007 under
for the first time in, hmmm, about five years the majorit of my hair is a uniform colour. Some of the purple and red still showing through when I put it up (it's a semi permanent, they'll be back). I find this strange, I like the colour it is but am just slightly weirded out by the fact that I can for once name my hair colour.

and I seem to be able to look like Death fairly well.
Mood:: weird

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