And what was she, the fairy Melusine?

 I have put my Christmas tree up and have posted Christmas cards, and this is helping a bit with the current anxiety and depressive downswing tied into it being Christmas/the end of another year and not feeling like I have made any progress .

(I actually really like Christmas/the general winter holiday period, my depression tends to be bad in the winter but I normally kinda like forced/socially obligated cheer and stopping for a bit and giving gifts. That I am so very broke this year is one reason I am feeling a bit sad, and the weird work ethic guilt over taking time off if it is only time off from being underemployed)

I've been hoping not to still be single this time next year for the last three years, and it's really hitting me quite hard this year as, you know, hoping really hard has little effect.