posted by
thefairymelusine at 07:13pm on 15/02/2017
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There's a lot of stuff going on, and I am trying to sort through my own thoughts about it a tad. I turned 28 on Sunday, and I have spent much of the time since then wanting to have a nap, but I presume this is a normal 28 year old behaviour. I presented at an internal symposium at uni this time last week and it went really well. I have some generally good stuff going on study/career wise, and this is very good.
I also still have depression, and get thrown by unexpected triggers, and then catastrophise these into Literally Everything Wrong with me so I am trying to make some notes of concrete things which are good.
I was on the phone to friend-I-talk-to-most-days, the other day, comparing notes on stuff, and he pointed out that while I still have a fair amount of emotional ups and downs 'they're not as bad as they were three years ago, in that, you used to regularly go from a three to a one, whereas now you go from say a six to a four, or a three, which still sucks, but is a lot better'. I thought about it a lot, (and then accidentally looked at some old emails from three years ago) and think that that is fairly true, and also a helpful way of looking at it.
Another concrete thing:
I had a birthday party on Saturday, and I went to Intrusion last night, and both were lovely and also suffered slightly from the problem of 'a social thing with lots of people I know and like at it, and not managing to talk to all of them for long enough/at all'. And I finished supper tonight, and thought about how nice a problem that is to have, in the grand scheme of things, and that I am lucky it is sometimes a problem I have. So I wanted to note that.
I also still have depression, and get thrown by unexpected triggers, and then catastrophise these into Literally Everything Wrong with me so I am trying to make some notes of concrete things which are good.
I was on the phone to friend-I-talk-to-most-days, the other day, comparing notes on stuff, and he pointed out that while I still have a fair amount of emotional ups and downs 'they're not as bad as they were three years ago, in that, you used to regularly go from a three to a one, whereas now you go from say a six to a four, or a three, which still sucks, but is a lot better'. I thought about it a lot, (and then accidentally looked at some old emails from three years ago) and think that that is fairly true, and also a helpful way of looking at it.
Another concrete thing:
I had a birthday party on Saturday, and I went to Intrusion last night, and both were lovely and also suffered slightly from the problem of 'a social thing with lots of people I know and like at it, and not managing to talk to all of them for long enough/at all'. And I finished supper tonight, and thought about how nice a problem that is to have, in the grand scheme of things, and that I am lucky it is sometimes a problem I have. So I wanted to note that.
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